Confusion, regret and loneliness

Why are things confusing for me?

I think part of the reason why I get confused is because I think that people think the same way I do. Like, they have the same opinion that I do on a certain event, but then I find out later that they actually didn't, I was just hoping that they did. Confused yet? Good. I can't explain it much better than that, hopefully you'll understand what I'm trying to say... this break has been interesting to put it simply. I'm really not sure where I stand with some people and I don't like that, but I've gotta deal. Past choices lead me to where I am now, so I've got to live with that. I need to think a little more before making decisions maybe... that might avoid some of this confusion later on at least. Regret sucks. Don't do things you'll regret. Haha if only it were easy to determine what you will or won't regret.

I saw The Good Shepherd today. Great movie. Very thought provoking. There isn't alot of action in it, but the acting is wonderful, and I think it really captures the emptiness and lonliness that people like Edward Wilson feel. Every decision he had to make throughout the movie forced him to lie to someone in his life that he wanted close to him, mostly his son and his wife. He didn't have the luxury of having friends that he could trust. While the movie never showed Wilson as caring whether or not he had people he could trust, it was clear that his job is not the way life is meant to be lived for human beings. Even if it didn't show, he was lonely.

Loneliness will tear people apart.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

:-( talk to me? i haven't seen you basically at all this break, minus like an hour at my party watching a movie. thanksgiving break conversation? yeah, that needs to happen again.
as far at the entry, confusion, regret, loneliness, they all happen. i guess there's no way to predict it but maybe just talking to people about stuff will help at least clear confusion and hopefully prevent regret. and i guess after doing that the only thing to do it move on or talk it over with the involved persons and then move on? loneliness? hang out with me while you're home...and then go back to PSU and enjoy the company of a gazillion ppl our age. RU is calling me to come back...here is becoming relatively boring.